Friend asked me to sell her son's car.
So I did this one quick...
This thing’s like a 94 year old yoga instructor:
10 feet away it’s got a shockingly tight body…
But up close it’s got a busted face, some parts are falling out, it makes extra noise when you get on it too hard, and it sags in places you kinda wish it didn’t.
It’s got different colored skin depending on where you look, it’s got well worn Captain America shields on it’s wheels for whenever your kid decides to crank right too hard and lick the side of a curb, and if you look at the front (I wouldn’t) you’d find some teeth that tried to nom the backside of a suburban.
Tastes like freedom.
*Here’s the details*
Interior: mostly there
Interior color: corpse gray
Exterior: like rocky at the end of the movies
Exterior color: ninja turtle
Top speed: sometimes
Max RPM: Probably not
Transmission: when it feels like it, but usually always
Miles: 74,000 miles. F’real.
Gas: if you can afford it.
*OH WOW SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER*
Yeah you right.
Here’s why it’s gettin’ sold though…
This car was owned by grandma from 2001 to 2014.
Stick with me on this…
She drove it about 1k miles a year.
Sold it to her grandson in 2014, and this is when it could’ve gone downhill…
‘Cause he put about 12k miles on it, before I bought it in 2019.
Thing is, I caught it before he ruined anything.
I bought it with around 64k miles on it, had the intake manifold gasket replaced, and popped in a new battery.
Then in 2020 I swapped on new tires, and they’ve only seen 2 summers.
I had studded snow tires on during the winter, but they were done at the end of last winter.
I have new front and rear AC Delco struts that will go with the car.
The front brake pads were also replaced about 2 years ago.
The AC doesn’t work, but it’s do to the AC manifold leaking.
I got a new AC manifold and a new receiver/dryer, but my kid didn’t want to pay the money to have it installed.
So those AC system parts will also go with the car.
The only downside to this weathered old beast?
I mean besides THE ENTIRE CAR EXISTING?
My son clipped a suburban in 2020.
So we had to replace the hood.
The front grill is still damaged, but it’s cosmetic damage only.
I mean, it makes her look tough, too.
Like if you had a stupid little Jack Russell Terrier but it had a busted face and also had rabies.
This would be that.
Anyways the hood is also green, but not the same shade.
The paint sucks.
Windshield is cracked.
The gas gauge gets stuck when there is only 1/4 tank left, so anything after that you’re running on imagination.
So I recommend filling up at the station on the corner of hopes and dreams.
The driver and passenger side window regulators and motors were replaced about 2 years ago.
But the passenger side window has come off the tracks.
Just don’t even use it.
Anyways, all kidding aside, this is a solid car taken care of by an adult (even if it was driven by a teenage boy)…
So it’s still got a ton of life left.
Oh and we’re selling because I feel like it.
....and that's it.
Anyways, had fun.
Wanna do it again.
Got some ideas coming soon.
And blah blah blah "if you wanna write like this then clickety tap the link below"...
LOVE YOU BYE.
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7725 Carson Path, Summerfield, NC 27358